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Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya 
There never was a city kid truer and bluer 
There's more to me than you'll ever know 
And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh 
 
Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman, or Tom Foolery 
Dating women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery 
Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon 
And I'm always out looking for a female companion 
 
I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib 
I took off her moccasins and put on my bib 
Wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing 
I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm peeling 
 
Your body's on time and your mind is appealing 
Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling 
Such and such will be the bass that I'm throwing 
I'm talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing 
 
She's talking to the kid 
(To the who?) 
I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did 
 
Hey leadies, get funky 
 
All the ladies in the house 
The ladies, the ladies 
 
Well, me in the corner with a good looking daughter 
I dropped my drawers, said "Welcome Back Kotter" 
We were cutting up the rug, she started cutting up the carpet 
In my apartment I begged her please stop it 
 
The gift of gab is the gift that I have 
And that girl ain't nothing but a crab 
Educated, no. Stupid, yep 
And when I say stupid, I mean stupid fresh 
 
I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge 
I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large 
With the white Sassoons and the looks that kill 
Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville 
(Benz) 
 
I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie 
I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie 
'Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around 
You be listening to my records' a number one sound 
 
Step to the rhythm step, step to the ride 
I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside 
Tune in, turn on, to my tune that's live 
Ladies flock like bees to a hive 
 
Hey ladies, get funky 
 
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies 
(Girls, girls) 
Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies 
(One more time) 
(Ain't it funky now) 
 
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies 
(Ain't it funky now) 
 
(You know that) 
She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore 
She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door 
Break up with your girl, it ended in tears 
Vincent Van Gogh go and mail that ear 
 
Call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking 
The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking 
She said come on over, it was me that she missed 
I threw that trash can through her window 'cause you know I got dissed 
 
Your old lady left you and you went insane 
You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train 
Take my advice, at any price 
A gorilla like your mother is mighty weak 
 
Sucking down pints till I didn't know 
Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho 
'Cause I announce I like girls that bounce 
With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce 
 
Girls with curls and big long locks 
And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks 
Walking high and mighty like she's number one 
She thinks she's the passionate one 
 
Hey ladies, get funky 
 
Hey ladies