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The High Plains Drifter, and I'm the drifter 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
The High Plains Drifter, and I'm the drifter 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
They can't catch me they're never gonna find me 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter 
 
Pulled over to the river to take a rest 
Pulled out a pair of pliers, pulled the bullet out of my chest 
Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track 
I reached behind the seat and snatched a Kool from the pack 
 
A long distance from my girl, and I'm talking on the cellular 
She said that she was sorry and I said "yeah, the hell you were" 
Check my rear view mirror, check the gold tooth display 
Check out the odometer and I was on my way 
 
'Cause I'm the High Plains Drifter, the best that you can get 
A strapped shoplifter, a pirate on cassette 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed 
Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
 
I'm doing 120 plowing over mail boxes 
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is 
Spend another night at the Motel 6 
It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks 
 
And then I concoct a Black and Tan in my brandy snifter 
I'm a kleptomaniac, K-Mart shoplifter 
Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job 
I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob 
 
I left my car outside, and the engine still revvin' 
Taking care of business at 7-eleven 
And then I went inside to make my withdrawal 
I saw what he had had, but I had to take it all 
 
Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price 
So I clocked him off the turban with a bag of ice 
Cause I'm mell-el-o like jell-el-o, cool like lemonade 
I made my getaway and then I thought that I had it made 
 
I feel like Steve McQueen, a former movie star 
Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car 
 
Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap 
I couldn't help to notice I was caught in a speed trap 
Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry, on the run from Dirty Harry 
Stash the cash in the dash, but my gun I did carry 
 
I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night 
I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right 
The cop knocked on my window, said "Boy, where's the fire? 
You've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire" 
 
"Outta the car longhair, your goose is cooked" 
Read me my rights, fingerprinted, and booked 
 
Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury 
Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
Every dog will have its day, mine will be in front of a jury 
I'm the High Plains Drifter you know that I'm never in a hurry 
('Cause I'm a High Plains Drifter, drifter) 
 
Read me my rights, as if I didn't know this 
Threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis 
With his five o' clock shadow, he smelled of three day old beer 
My man turned to me and said "Why are you here"? 
 
I said I'm charming, I'm dashing, I'm rental car bashing 
I'm phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing 
 
I went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D 
He said "You behave son or we'll throw away the key" 
Houdini'd out the cuffs, I kicked the screw in the knee 
I took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to OTB 
 
I had a good feeling, easy come, easy go 
I bet on one horse to win and another to show 
And sure enough that nag came in 
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win 
 
And then I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger 
Hot wired, hot wheeled, and Suzy is a headbanger